A Keynesian and an Austrian were stranded in a rising flood. They climbed upon the roof of the building and were getting very nervous as the swift waters kept on getting higher and higher.

As they were nearing the end, they looked in the distance and saw a local farmer passing in a small boat. The Austrian called out to the man, “Come help us and take us to safety!” The farmer replied, “My boat is full of personal valuables from my house–I have no room in the boat!” The Austrian said, “We are mere moments from death! I will pay you $1000 if you dump some of your belongings and pick us up!”

The farmer quickly motored over, threw some of his belongings into the rushing waters, and helped the Austrian get in. As he achieved his safety he turned back to the Keynesian and said, “Come brother, join me in the boat. $1000 is a small price to pay!” The Keynesian replied, “No thanks, I have faith that the government helicopter will be here in no time.”

Jeffrey J. Hardy

Q: How many Austrian economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Get off my property!!!

There once was a man name Mises,
Who looked at the socialist pieces,
Of theory and said,
We’re better off dead,
Life’s better when freedom increases.

Though his opus, Human Action,
Found little public traction,
To fill every need,
Desire (not greed),
Remains crucial to our satisfaction.

The Austrian cycle theory,
Is warning to all the leery:
Though money inflation,
Fast helps a nation,
The crash is certainly dreary.

America’s Great Depression,
Was not a free-market confession.
The evil creation,
Of money inflation,
Began our tragic regression.

Hoover was not laissez fair.
Free markets he wouldn’t let square.
Government inventions,
And massive interventions,
Were more than our country could bear.

On Hayek’s Serfdom Road,
His predictions bode,
That despite goodwill,
Statist policies kill,
Even morality’s code.

Their theories cannot be saved,
Yet socialists rise from the grave,
To plunder our wealth,
In the name of our health,
Citizen soon becomes slave.

Their theories cannot be saved,
Yet socialists rise from the grave,
Forgetting each night,
That Mises was right,
Central planning will always deprave.

What is Keynsian thought?
But thinking all problems are bought,
Away without care,
Printing money from air,
And tomorrow’s problems are naught.

There once was a man named Ron Paul.
Alone he predicted downfall.
“The dollar’s not real!”
Some heard his appeal,
But sadly, their voice was too small.

Thyme preference.

Mises says: “We can’t open this can now, but we can save it for later, when we have managed to build the necessary capital for the task.”

Rothbard jumps and grabs the can. Then he says: “Maybe you were the first to see the can, but if I manage to open it you bet I own the food!”

Then Keynes shakes his head and says: “guys, you are focusing on the problem of opening the can, but there’s a harder problem. What if we are not hungry enough to eat the whole of it?”

The optimist thinks the glass is half-full;
the pessimist thinks the glass is half-empty;
the Austrian economist thinks capital was malinvested in oversized glassware.

“Thank you for saving me. In return for saving me I’ll grant any wish you desire.”

“Um. I want to buried in the Arlington Cemetary with full honours.”

“What?!?! Why would a young boy want to be concerned with his eventual demise?”

“Well, when my anarcho-Liberterian Dad finds out I saved the President’s life when I could have let him fall to his death, he’s going to kill me!”

(no response)

A: None. The government outlawed them ! We are now forced to use toxic and over-expensive CFL’s.

The real question is how many light bulbs can an Austrian economist hoard in his basement before they become outlawed ?

Tengentially, what I find most entertaining about the EMH is its inherent Zeno-like paradox: Strictly speaking, for the EMH to be true, it requires all market participants to behave as if it were not true. And when economic agents behave as if it is true, it isn’t…………..

One I ‘stole’ from prof. Murray N.;

Q: What’s the single good thing about Marx?

A: Well, at least he wasn’t a Keynesian (phew!).

“Q: How many Austrian economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: We don’t make quantitative predictions.”

That was soooo funny I couldn’t stop laughing.