MR goes trolling for Austrian Econ jokes, but most of what turns up is lame. However, I did laugh at this one:
Ludwig von Mises found consumer indifference “impossible to observe in practice.” It just bugged them too much that he was watching.
Source link: http://archive.mises.org/9893/lame-austrian-economist-jokes/
Lame Austrian Economist Jokes
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Johnny returns home for the summer from his main stream economics studies at a respected university. He says to his father, “Dad, I’d like to change majors, the math is pretty complicated and there’s a lot of field work.”
His father asks, “How bad do you want to change?”
“42 utils” answers Johnny.
Crusoe: “Knock knock”
(no response)
Ludwig von Mises: “Knock knock”
eminent economist: “Who’s there?”
Ludwig von Mises: “Ludwig von Mises”
eminent economist: “Ludwig von Mises, who?”
Ludwig von Mises: “If I had a 1942-45 nickel for each time an eminent economist asked that…..”
The President of the U.S.A. is in dire trouble as he is all alone dangling off the end of a cliff. A boy passes by and pitches in to saves the President.
“Thank you for saving me. In return for saving me I’ll grant any wish you desire.”
“Um. I want to buried in the Arlington Cemetary with full honours.”
“What?!?! Why would a young boy want to be concerned with his eventual demise?”
“Well, when my anarcho-Liberterian Dad finds out I saved the President’s life when I could have let him fall to his death, he’s going to kill me!”
Perhaps it isn’t a joke in the traditional sense, but this is what I contributed:
The optimist thinks the glass is half-full;
the pessimist thinks the glass is half-empty;
the Austrian economist thinks capital was malinvested in oversized glassware.
Menger strolls down to the Danube one day and happens upon a man named Smith who is trying to find investors for a pier building project. Menger looks at the artist’s representation of the two piers jutting out from the shore into the Danube and declares, “Everyone put your money away, you don’t want to invest here.”
“Why?” asks the crowd.
Menger answers, “There is no value in this pair of docks.”
Q: How do you call a Keynesian inside a barrel of acid?
A: A solved problem!
Mises, Rothbard and Keynes are stranded in a desert island and they find a can of beans.
Mises says: “We can’t open this can now, but we can save it for later, when we have managed to build the necessary capital for the task.”
Rothbard jumps and grabs the can. Then he says: “Maybe you were the first to see the can, but if I manage to open it you bet I own the food!”
Then Keynes shakes his head and says: “guys, you are focusing on the problem of opening the can, but there’s a harder problem. What if we are not hungry enough to eat the whole of it?”
Why did the Austrian rearrange his spice rack?
Thyme preference.
10 Austrian Economic Limericks
There once was a man name Mises,
Who looked at the socialist pieces,
Of theory and said,
We’re better off dead,
Life’s better when freedom increases.
Though his opus, Human Action,
Found little public traction,
To fill every need,
Desire (not greed),
Remains crucial to our satisfaction.
The Austrian cycle theory,
Is warning to all the leery:
Though money inflation,
Fast helps a nation,
The crash is certainly dreary.
America’s Great Depression,
Was not a free-market confession.
The evil creation,
Of money inflation,
Began our tragic regression.
Hoover was not laissez fair.
Free markets he wouldn’t let square.
Government inventions,
And massive interventions,
Were more than our country could bear.
On Hayek’s Serfdom Road,
His predictions bode,
That despite goodwill,
Statist policies kill,
Even morality’s code.
Their theories cannot be saved,
Yet socialists rise from the grave,
To plunder our wealth,
In the name of our health,
Citizen soon becomes slave.
Their theories cannot be saved,
Yet socialists rise from the grave,
Forgetting each night,
That Mises was right,
Central planning will always deprave.
What is Keynsian thought?
But thinking all problems are bought,
Away without care,
Printing money from air,
And tomorrow’s problems are naught.
There once was a man named Ron Paul.
Alone he predicted downfall.
“The dollar’s not real!”
Some heard his appeal,
But sadly, their voice was too small.
There is nothing wrong with a little self-deprecating humor.
Q: How many Austrian economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Get off my property!!!
The Austrian School was not born in 1871. It was born several production stages earlier, when Menger’s Principles were just an idea in his mind.
This very funny set of econo-humor has inspired an original joke. Tell me if you like it:
A Keynesian and an Austrian were stranded in a rising flood. They climbed upon the roof of the building and were getting very nervous as the swift waters kept on getting higher and higher.
As they were nearing the end, they looked in the distance and saw a local farmer passing in a small boat. The Austrian called out to the man, “Come help us and take us to safety!” The farmer replied, “My boat is full of personal valuables from my house–I have no room in the boat!” The Austrian said, “We are mere moments from death! I will pay you $1000 if you dump some of your belongings and pick us up!”
The farmer quickly motored over, threw some of his belongings into the rushing waters, and helped the Austrian get in. As he achieved his safety he turned back to the Keynesian and said, “Come brother, join me in the boat. $1000 is a small price to pay!” The Keynesian replied, “No thanks, I have faith that the government helicopter will be here in no time.”
Jeffrey J. Hardy
excellent!
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