On December 15, America celebrates the anniversary of the Bill of Rights. Of those rights, the 1st Amendment’s guarantee of freedom of speech is perhaps the most celebrated.
If so, there is a good reason. After surviving a critical test from the Sedition Act of 1798, which tried to muzzle political opposition by making it illegal to ‘combine or conspire together, with intent to oppose any measure or measures of the government,’ it has marked America as a country where people could openly criticize those in government power without ending up in jail or worse.
This freedom to criticize government has led to a typically American form of humor, where wit is used to keep our political representatives in their place through the threat of public embarrassment. For example, consider what some of America’s favorite humorists have said.
Mark Twain:
‘Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.’
‘It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.’
Will Rogers:
‘If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don’t get wet you can keep.’
‘On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation on earth that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.’
‘There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.’
‘Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.’
‘This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when a baby gets hold of a hammer.’
Groucho Marx:
‘Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.’
P.J. O’Rourke:
‘Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teen-age boys.’
‘The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.’
‘The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass from your lawn. The Republicans are the power that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.’
Making government a target of deserved satire is not restricted to America’s humorists, either. Politicians have also jumped on the bandwagon to criticize the excesses and inadequacies of government, observed at close range.
Benjamin Franklin:
‘In rivers and bad governments, the lightest things float at the top.’
Thomas Jefferson:
‘If we were directed from Washington when to sow and when to reap, we should all want bread.’
Ronald Reagan:
‘Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.’
Daniel Patrick Moynahan:
‘The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it is so rare.’
Every other American, famous or not, also seems to have a contribution to the chorus.
Henry Adams:
‘Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.’
Ambrose Bierce:
‘In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from office.’
Milton Friedman:
‘Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program.’
H.L. Mencken:
‘If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.’
John Wallner:
‘Politicians are like diapers—they should be changed often, and for the same reason.’
Bob Wells:
‘For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.’
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Humor is often the most effective way to protest government abuse, highlight the lack of logic behind government pronouncements and programs, expose government corruption and deflate ‘public servants’ grown self-important. And America’s sense of humor helps maintains our spirit of liberty by resisting unjustified encroachments by our government.
Americans should celebrate that our Bill of Rights has preserved our freedom of speech, including our freedom to satirize to our government, for over two centuries. It is one of our essential rights, without which we would be far less free than we are.
Gary M. Galles is a professor of economics at Pepperdine University. Send him mail. See his archives of daily articles and blog posts.
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“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
“Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”
-Ronald Reagan
Some more Mark Twain ones:
“The government of my country snubs honest simplicity, but fondles artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable pickpocket if I had remained in the public service a year or two.”
“All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.”
“…I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.”
and one for all my fellow Ron Paul supporters out there (from 1870):
“…the liberty of the Press is called the Palladium of Freedom, which means, in these days, the liberty of being deceived, swindled, and humbugged by the Press and paying hugely for the deception.”
The quotes were great, but the truth is a piece of paper called The Bill of Rights doesn’t preserve anything, let alone speech. It’s people’s willingness, or lack thereof, to have their speech forcefully corralled by other people that has “preserved” this right. All governments and all coercive institutions rest on consent. If we don’t consent to our free speech being suppressed, then we shall have our free speech.
Unfortunately, though, free speech isn’t alive and well in this nation, and hasn’t been for a long time. The government has ruled on numerous occasions that it can subdue free speech in specific situations (like, try saying anything about a bomb in an airport), and all kinds of federal, state and local laws strictly define where people can and can’t protest, for instance, as well as the manner in which they protest.
It might feel good to sit around the camp-fire and exchange witty quotes and pat each other on the back for a job well done on preserving the right of free speech (thanks, Bill O’Rights!), but the truth is that right is slowly eroding, just like every other one, as more and more people give consent to the authorities to limit what they do about and with their rights.
It seems to me that the recent congressional bill H.R. 1955 is sufficiently vague such that wonderful and humorous quotes like these will at some point be considered treasonous, or at least dangerous. If that bill becomes law, we will only jest about government at our own peril.
Hey Tom,
No need to worry. Just relax. The Bill provisions self policing by experts conforming to the highest of standards:
“(c) Auditing Mechanism- The Civil Rights and Civil Liberties Officer of the Department of Homeland Security shall develop and implement an auditing mechanism to ensure that compliance with this subtitle does not violate the constitutional rights, civil rights, or civil liberties of any racial, ethnic, or religious group, and shall include the results of audits under such mechanism in its annual report to Congress required under section 705.’.”
Mr. Hurst, Parrotocracy, Prof. Galles et al.,
This is a courtesy ticket sent under Section J, Art. 1148, of the new Homeland Security Act of 2008. Although you are not in violation of any particular statute at this time, we are required by law to notify persons when their actions border on subverting the First Amendment Security protocols in said HSA 2008. Please be aware of the possible fines of up to $2000 and forfeiture of internet use for up to five years, as circumscribed by law, if found to be in violation of this Act.
Please Do Not Respond To This Ticket
Mr. Hurst, Parrotocracy, Prof. Galles et al.,
This is a courtesy ticket sent under Section J, Art. 1148, of the new Homeland Security Act of 2008. Although you are not in violation of any particular statute at this time, we are required by law to notify persons when their actions border on subverting the First Amendment Security protocols in said HSA 2008. Please be aware of the possible fines of up to $2000 and forfeiture of internet use for up to five years, as circumscribed by law, if found to be in violation of this Act.
Please Do Not Respond To This Ticket
Parrotocracy,
I was almost comforted, then I realized that I don’t belong to any of those protected groups. I’m just me, and clearly no one is going to care about what they do to just me and my rights. Do I really have to join some group to get protection?
Darn!
Good catch, John.
Gee, it is worse than originally imagined. How about AAA membership? Chess club? No wait, this is it:
……. Mises.org
(now here’s an identity group to be protected!)
Taylor,
I think there is a workaround about bomb comments at airports.
Airline Passenger: Just to let you know, I’m carrying a bomb.
Security Officer: You’re not allowed to joke about things like that.
AP: I’m serious. I really have a bomb.
SO: That’s different. Go on ahead.
This is truly epic!!! Thanks for putting this out there
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