
The Soviets created the most successful propaganda machine in the history of mankind. The most effective counter to this propaganda came not from professional Western ideologues but from popular jokes about communism. FULL ARTICLE by Krzysztof M. Ostaszewski



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Oh yes, laughter is the only relief in oppressive regimes. And also the only weapon against them. I lived in one for 15 years, so I know a thing or two about it.
The Seven Wonders of Socialism:
1. Everybody has a job.
2. Although everybody has a job, nobody is doing anything.
3. Although nobody is doing anything, the plan is always fulfilled.
4. Although the plan is always fulfilled, there is nothing to buy.
5. Although there is nothing to buy, everybody has everything.
6. Although everybody has everything, everybody is stealing.
7. And even though everybody is stealing, nobody is missing anything.
And The Seven Wonders of Capitalism:
1. Not everybody has a job.
2. Although not everybody has a job, everybody is working.
3. Although everybody is working, the plan is not always fulfilled.
4. Although the plan is not always fulfilled, anything can be bought.
5. Although anything can be bought, some people don’t have anything.
6. Although some people don’t have anything, they leave the stealing to those who have everything.
7. And even though those who have everything are stealing big time, nobody is ever caught.
Boring! You should have included something intensely mathematical.
A brilliant article! Thanks a lot dear polish friend!
The one I remember was by Yakov Smirnov,
“The Russian Express Card: Don’t Leave Home.”
Mises.org should make the ‘music, fun, and games’ page easier to find.
Interesting article. I agree with your general thesis, but you make a specific error in pointing out what you believe to be an instance of Soviet propaganda.
You say that the Soviet Union falsely accused the US of intervening in the internal affairs of Afghanistan. Actually, the accusation is correct. Here, you show yourself to be a victim of US propaganda. (Yes, it can — and does — happen here, too. This should go without saying.) Six months before the Soviet intervention in the Afghanistan civil war in 1979, Jimmy Carter authorized covert action in Afghanistan, presided over by his national security advisor, in an effort to lure the Soviets into their own Vietnam-like disaster (see http://www.globalresearch.ca/articles/BRZ110A.html).
Of course, my pointing out this fact is not intended to diminish the crimes of the Soviet Union. I only think we would be better served by knowing (and acknowledging) the truth.
Otherwise, the article is spot on (and very amusing)!
I didn’t see the author state or imply that the US didn’t intervene in Afghanistan. *Goes back and checks article*. Nope. It doesn’t.
The Suslov Maneuver doesn’t have to be a false accusation. But it is a pretty neat (if jackassy) rhetorical trick.
The question is not *whether* the US intervened. We know it did. The question is: *when* did the US intervene?
The author writes, “In one of the most entertaining examples of the Suslov Maneuver, immediately upon invading Afghanistan in 1979, the Soviets issued a statement condemning Western intervention in the internal affairs of Afghanistan.”
The implication here seems to be that the superlative “entertainment” value of this piece of Soviet propaganda lies in its wildly deceptive accusation, when it is really a mere change of subject on par with the US official story in terms of mendacity. The author seems to suggest (again *implicitly*) that the Soviets were doing *more* than just changing the subject when they stated that the US had already been meddling in Afghanistan. And in the absence of any qualification or footnote briefly stating the facts of the matter, this anecdote comes across (however unwittingly) as a de facto endorsement of US propaganda over the Soviet brand.
If the Suslov Maneuver need not be false accusation, then what exactly makes the Soviet change of subject in this instance “one of the most entertaining?” What accounts for its superlative status? The fact that the Soviet Union was intervening while condemning the enemy’s intervention? Is that really the epitome of Soviet propaganda efforts that puts Western governments and intelligence agencies to shame? Does it really beat the utterly fraudulent Warren Commission or the myths justifying America’s entry into WWII and the use of atomic bombs against Japan or the totally debunked myth that Progressive era legislation was the outcome of a populist movement against big business monopoly, a myth that to this day alligns Lefties and other activists with the very corporate interests they think they are fighting (see Gabriel Kolko’s The Triumph of Conservatism)? All of these are vast, highly successful propaganda campaigns that have collectively plunged Americans into a Matrix-like environment, where up is down, left is right, and virtually all of the big policies that so many Americans have taken for granted are based on lies and disinformation.
If you want superlatives in propaganda, look to a society dominated by a government that has chosen less conspicuous means of incrementally bringing in a totalitarian police state, where the serfs actually believe (falsely) that they are free and so mount little, if any, resistance to the totalitarian advances. At least in the Soviet Union, people knew they were not free and virtually no one was fooled by Soviet propaganda — hence the jokes.
In the light of these monstrous, historical deceptions, one would be hard pressed to accept the author’s claim that Soviet deception regarding the Afghanistan civil war was an exceptional instance of propaganda that shames the US shadow government — unless, of course, the author was *implying* that something more than a mere change of subject was involved here, especially if the Soviet deception is to be regarded as “one of the most” (fill in the blank) anything. If not, the example he cites is, at best, smile-provoking.
But what could this “something more” be? Why, besides the obvious change of subject, perhaps the Soviet claim itself — that the US had already been meddling in Afghanistan — is so at odds with the truth as to be utterly laughable and hence “entertaining.” Given the context of the discussion, what else could the author possibly be pointing to, implicitly or otherwise?
Perhaps I should have been more precise in my critique and called the author’s error a sin of omission, which can be just as misleading as a Suslov Maneuver or false accusation to anyone unfamilar with the true history of this conflict, which the author makes no attempt to acknowledge, proceeding as if there were no controversy regarding the facts, whistling past the graveyard, so to speak, however unwittingly. (The author himself may not be acquainted with the historical truth.)
Finally, recasting “changing the subject” as the “Suslov Maneuver” strikes me as giving too much credit to Suslov for using this ancient, rather mindless artifice. But that’s another argument.
Post-scriptive reflections:
You know what I find entertaining? The fact that a person who should have been one of the main suspects in the president’s assasination was actually appointed to the commission to investigate the assasination! And that, even after E. Howard Hunt confessed on his death bed that he did, in fact, play a role in the president’s assasination in his capacity as a clandestine CIA operative, we in this country still have not had that critical national discussion dealing with a national security state that flagrantly violates its own laws and murders elected representatives of the American people — with impunity! Now that’s entertainment!
I bet the elites deliberatly running this country into the ground so they can draw their “New World Order” out of the planned chaos actually believe that We the People are only getting what we deserve for being so distracted and stupid and for not waking up to the obvious, for giving in to wishful thinking even when the facts are staring at us in the face; and this is how they rationalize all the evil things they do.
It would be too simple to call nine-eleven an inside job. It was an inside-outside job. Investigate WTC 7, the third skyscraper in Manhattan to suffer total collapse on the day of nine-eleven; research Sibel Edmonds, the Phoenix memo, Coleen Rowley, Able Danger, Robert Wright, William Rodriguez, etc. Go to NYC CAN’s webiste. Support the family members’ and first responders’ push for a truly independent, REAL investigation into the attacks, one that isn’t “set up to fail.” Watch the documentary “Press for Truth.” Read Paul Thompson’s “The Terror Timeline.” Go to the Corbett Report.com, along with Mises.org, of course, to get the real news. Go to Architects and Engineers for 9/11 truth.com and visit David Chandler’s personal youtube page. The evidence of this government’s foreknowledge of and complicity in the nine-eleven attacks and subsequent cover up is all there, waiting to be discovered by the American people, until “they” shut down or totally regulate the Internet after the next big, engineered crisis or major cyber attack. Will the people wake up in time? I’m doing my best to wake up others.)
End post-scriptive rant.
But the Suslov Maneuver is not merely “changing the subject”. In fact, it’s closer to “highlighting the subject and projecting it”. As the article states, the Suslov Maneuver is demonstrated when “Facing the possibility of being accused of an atrocity, or facing any form of an ideological attack, one immediately accuse[s] the opponent of precisely that atrocity or ideological failure”.
Anyway, you wrote much. Methinks you are seeing more than is there.
Cheers.
Hi Nate,
“Anyway, you wrote much. Methinks you are seeing more than is there.”
That occurred to me, too! Perhaps the author and I have conflicting views of what constitutes “entertainment.”
Actually, I think that propaganda becomes more energetic and significant precisely in those states that have not yet resorted to the gulag and are under pressure to preserve the “illusion of freedom” while stripping away that freedom, bit by bit. US propaganda and intelligence psy-ops are much more impressive and successful in that sense than any Soviet Suslov Maneuver.
And I’m not sure I agree with your interpretation of the Suslov Maneuver, as defined by the author. By my reading, it simply means to respond to criticism by talking about one’s critics instead of offering a legitimate counter-argument. So instead of talking about what they were doing, Soviet officials prefered to focus on what the US was doing. That doesn’t strike me as exceptional or even particularly entertaining. Had the author provided a little more historical context, his evaluation of Soviet propaganda in this instance would seem a bit off the mark. But he didn’t, so I thought I ‘d supply the omitted historical facts. Knowing the facts of the matter, readers can make up their own minds.
You’re right. I did write a lot above. I hope you and other open-minded people take the time to check out the websites and other sources of information I cite.
Thanks and cheers!
My favortie Soviet joke is this one, which I got on a birthday card when I was a child:
A Soviet man saves up his money to get a car. So he goes down to the local car dealership to buy one. The man tells him that his car will be ready to pick up on that exact date five years from now. The buyer asks, “In the morning, or the afternoon?” The salesman says, “Why does that matter? It’s five years away!” To which the buyer replies, “The plumber is coming that morning.”
That’s rich!
You got that on a birthday card (!) as a kid (!) ??
A joke about Soviet plumbers and automakers ??
Many happy returns of that day…
“More interestingly, the term “ungrateful wretches” sounds very familiar to anyone who had lived under communism; that was exactly the term Suslov used to describe any Soviet subject who dared to express any opposition to the Soviet regime.”
I’ve noticed similar odd and striking word choices lately. Most notably the use of the word “progressive” to describe Mr. Obama’s campaign for office – which is the word that the USSR used to describe it’s own policies.
great article. more stories from those who suffered socialism first-hand, please. theory’s great, but the personal narratives are also vital.
My favorite Soviet/communism joke was told to me by a former professor of mine who studied in the Soviet Union in the 1980s. It goes like this:
“The government pretends to pay us and we pretend to work.”
One very smart Russian scientist said to me about the working environment: “our eyes are scared but our hands are moving”.
My favourite joke, from a Polish friend: “The Polish people enjoy caviar every day through the mouths of their representatives”.
I don’t get the last part. Is it saying he could have killed the kid, or killed himself?
now you’ve joined in the joking.
Regime is something too profound. It is not a good topic for me. I still like to watch Soprts Games anf get my favorite Premier Jerseys.
judy, first learn english, then spam. just a tip.
“Consider the tea party movement. Journalists and politicians call them many bad things, the kindest of them being “ungrateful wretches,” who enjoy the benefits of the federal government, yet attack that government. This is quite a fascinating claim, given that the politicians and journalists generally depend on income generated, in a very large part, by the participants in the tea party movement. Could this be a Suslov Maneuver at a small scale at least?”
Isn’t the reason for this the fact that Tea Party people are said to be united around wanting to get government out of their business, yet a majority among those interviewed want government’s hands off their Social Security and Medicare?
Mr. Ostaszewski, Great piece. Bravo! The only way to dismiss propaganda is to laugh at it. Best, John
The one about Lenin and razor wasn’t put very well, it goes like,
A grade-school teacher is telling the kids about how much Lenin loved children. “One beautiful summer morning,” she says, “Grandpa Lenin was shaving outside his house. A small group of children walked by and shouted their greetings to him. Lenin looked at them, finished shaving, sharpened his razor, and put it back in it’s case. He could’ve slit their throats, but he didn’t. That’s how fond Grandpa Lenin was of children!”
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