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Source link: http://archive.mises.org/11566/are-you-an-arachno-capitalist/

Are You an Arachno-Capitalist?

January 29, 2010 by

Do spiders need capitalism? HT: Paul Novarese.

I look forward to a heavily-footnoted thirty-page response from Walter Block. :)


Robert Evans January 29, 2010 at 10:11 am

My wife sent me this via twitter and I’m still wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes.

AJ Witoslawski January 29, 2010 at 10:12 am

No, clearly, spiders need socialism. They have lived in squalor and poverty for millenia because they practice arachnocapitalism. Obviously, it’s time to try something else out.

flix January 29, 2010 at 10:21 am

Vernor Vinge:
A Deepness in the Sky

……now you see what all the stuff with the spiders was about…

Todd January 29, 2010 at 10:22 am

Is this for real? I actually feel sorry for the guy. I think it is his haircut.

Rafael Hotz January 29, 2010 at 10:39 am

holy crap, I blame the goverment schools…

Tom McInerney (ING Chairman & CEO) January 29, 2010 at 10:47 am

You arachno-capitalists are almost as silly as those people who think Austrian economics is relevant. I mean come on, Austria’s really not a very big country.

Deefburger January 29, 2010 at 10:50 am

I want to know who the spider is that owns the IP on web design, and which one owns the IP on the various forms of silk, and what kind of agreements they have on these properties.

Furthermore, I’ve never observed spiders fighting over homesteaded territory. What common law rules are they following that allows them to do this web building without conflict? I mean, If I were a spider and built a web in a nice corner somewhere, what’s to prevent another one from coming along and building a bigger web right in front of mine? My catch count of flies would decrease significantly from such an act of aggression! Yet, I’ve never seen a spider give bitties to another spider in this situation. Nor have I ever witnessed trade, though I have never witnessed my cat trading either and I’m quite convinced he’s dealing catnip in the wee hours.

No, I don’t think there are any arachno-capitalists. If there were, there would be a raucous market for prime flies on Saturday morning and a great deal more specialization among the spiders and what bugs they catch. We would have fly farms springing up and herds of bugs being moved about the neighbourhood by rancher spiders bringing them to the aforementioned markets.

Now the ants, maybe. They do seem to have some of the skills necessary for organized trade, but not the spiders.

Cats are different. I’m sure there is a black market out there for pilfered kibble, milk coerced from little old ladies, and tins-o-tuna and can openers being a special field of endeavour for some enterprising felines, not to mention the catnip trade. Certainly there are Feline-Capitalists, but not spiders.

filc January 29, 2010 at 10:52 am

On a serious note. Is this guy serious or was it a joke?
Still it’s pretty funny. I didn’t read the title very well and was expecting a cheap shot at anarcho capitalism. I laughed out loud when I heard arachno!

Justin January 29, 2010 at 10:53 am

The really funny thing: my brain subconsciously rearranged the letters. I thought, “Why are we posting youtube videos with such enlightening titles as ‘Anarcho-Capitalism is Stupid’?” I even read the spider comment and thought, “What is he talking about?”.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. :)

Artisan January 29, 2010 at 10:54 am

Mises.org must be very rich

to either pay an immensely talented actor reading this text out loud so convincingly…

or to pay someone to make himself ridiculous to that extent in front of the camera…

Artisan January 29, 2010 at 10:57 am
Slim934 January 29, 2010 at 11:21 am


When I first saw the post I just thought it would be about this fellow saying “arachno-capitalism” and then actually talking about anarcho-capitalism. Like he just kept continually misstating.

This is far more fantastic.

Jason Hurley January 29, 2010 at 11:34 am

It was only a matter of time before populist fervor rose up against those fat-cat spiders, with their big year-end fly abdomen bonuses. it’s enough to make me sick.

Bryan Morton January 29, 2010 at 11:34 am

He’s right, you gotta have pockets. I think I just became a marsupio-capitalist.

iawai January 29, 2010 at 11:39 am

Damn, Bryan beat me to the punch. This made me chuckle a couple times, up until he said that “they don’t even have pockets”, and suggested marsupials as better capitalists.

My dog thinks I’m crazy for laughing so hard. He can carry a satchel! Canis-capitalism!

Core January 29, 2010 at 11:47 am

@Artisan Artisan

“”"”"”the sad truth might be this though:
http://www.youtube.com/user/DarwinsHamster#p/u/22/U_suPf5NCrU ””””””” end quote

Thanks for sharing that link… I watched about 3/4 of the video, then said screw it.. and gave him 1 star for his intelligence level, because he has failed to understand how the world works… and how history has worked.

Mark Rose January 29, 2010 at 11:48 am
mpolzkill January 29, 2010 at 11:59 am

I was pretty sure he was a comedian and then “Artisan” provided that link to another video where he said: “One of the reasons we have a predisposition for government is [for it] to be some countervailing pressure against some of our more aggressive tendencies.”

mikey January 29, 2010 at 12:14 pm

This guy may be brilliant, but he is no Francis E. Dec.


Some dude January 29, 2010 at 12:59 pm

The guy is pretty clever to come up with a video that was sure to make it on blog.mises.org. Suckers.

Sean A January 29, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Capitalism hinges on one single, indisputable necessity: pockets. Thus we may proclaim with confidence, as he suggested, the kangaroo is the most capitalistic animal. Yet, criminals beware. They’re no easy pick pocket.

Terry O'Carroll January 29, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Unfortunately, marsupials cannot be capitalists.

The pouch is part of the female animal’s sexual organs and as such, points downwards. Any money stored in it would fall out*. Even if this were not true, the jingling of coins in the pouches of leaping kangaroos would attract predators.

*Of course this is different in primates. In the primates, males are the only ones with pockets. Unmated females use bags, mated females make use of the male’s pockets to carry small items like lipstick, small change, and cigarettes. The male’s heavier musculature is also used to carry heavier items like the groceries gathered by the female. This explains why only primates have evolved capitalism. Socialist theory states that government intervention is necessary to create and guarantee the existence of pockets for money to be put into, but Austrian theory shows that pockets will spontaneously arise in any situation where men like to leave their hands free without having to carry a goshdarn bag everywhere.

patrisVII January 29, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Just waiting for Chevy Chase to break in, stage right, at anytime:

“Ah, it’s AN -AR-CHO , not A-RAC-NO….. it’s about commerce without the state, not commerce with eight legs”

“Oh, well then, never mind”

Fallon January 29, 2010 at 11:24 pm

Eight legs good. Two legs bad.

Youtubist January 30, 2010 at 6:48 am

Judging from his other videos, I think that this guy suffers from Anarcho-phobia.

A disorder characterized by an irrational fear of economic freedom and fear of having to face one’s own responsibilities, especially affraid of having to pull one’s own weight.

Renegade Division January 30, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Dale from Anarchy in your Head made a cartoon about it long time ago.


Matt January 30, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Infinitesimal fraction are on youtube, does this guy know what the word infinitesimal means?

EIS January 30, 2010 at 10:00 pm

His analysis is quite sound. What’s the problem?

Floyd January 31, 2010 at 3:26 am


lol! I really did laugh out loud.

Allen October 31, 2010 at 5:14 am

Capitalism only applies when you have pockets.

Edmund Carlyle November 20, 2010 at 8:23 pm

This is hilarious awesome.

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