My wife and I just celebrated the birth of a beautiful, brown-haired boy. During the night, as I was waiting for nature to run its course, I walked around observing the maternity unit of our chosen hospital.
Though this was our seventh trip there, as I ambled about, something caught my eye for the very first time. There next to the door to labor and delivery was a framed license — an Ohio maternity license.
Wow, I thought. I hadn’t even bothered to verify that the hospital was licensed by the state. What if it hadn’t been? Caveat emptor, I suppose.
At home, with mother and child asleep, I looked up the licensing requirements. Upon review, it seems that I had been confused in the past. Where I once thought that the health care market (or pseudo market) provides for the wants of the patient, I now realize that the family waiting room and the amount of clear space was provided by Ohio law.
Thank goodness for the caring state. If those altruistic do-gooders hadn’t regulated maternity units, “Immediately accessible examination lights” would be nowhere in sight.
And if this requirement wasn’t law, hospitals would board the windows to the nursery, denying families the opportunity to observe their new additions sleeping away: “Observation windows to permit the viewing of newborns from public areas, workrooms and adjacent nursery rooms.”
Of course, you can be certain that the laws and regulations were not drafted to harm or inconvenience major hospitals. They were drafted to price competition out of the market — what little is left there.
So given that my hospital has a 24/7 Tim Horton’s, it only a matter of time before “immediately accessible warm food” become the next requirement. Because we can’t have expectant fathers eating from vending machines, can we?
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Interesting take. Maybe I should look into this the next time I’m in labor and delivery (in about a month).
seven? that’s a dynasty, or a vote of no-confidence in the pension system. whichever, congratulations!
i guess the law strictly forbids the smoking of cigars anywhere in the vicinity of the hospital, and probably the imbibing of alcohol, too. nanny love’s you, but she’s a kill-joy for sure.
I recently welcomed a bundle of joy, and they had no problem with champagne and a six-pack in the maternity center, not that I asked. A cigar would have been right out though, I’d wager.
Congratulations to you and the addition to your family! However of note you said that you were able to walk around observing the maternity unit of your chosen hospital. I find this concerning that there may have been a lacking inadequacy or perhaps failure in the “caring state” and the “altruistic do-gooders” in ensuring the “security” on the maternity unit from infant abduction as you should have not been so “free” to walk about. It is quite clear that the bureaucratic arm/fist of “The Joint Commission” dictates that all visitors be “identified” and parents to be “educated.” Such “education” would also include the attachment of “secure identically numbered bands to the baby (wrist and ankle bands), mother, and father or significant other immediately after birth” as well as “footprint the baby, take a color photograph of the baby and record the baby’s physical examination within two hours of birth.” Future recommendations “coming soon” is “implementing an infant security tag or abduction alarm system.” Welcome to the “secure” state sanctioned nursery. http://www.jointcommission.org/SentinelEvents/SentinelEventAlert/sea_9.htm
Congratulations to you and the addition to your family! However of note you said that you were able to walk around observing the maternity unit of your chosen hospital. I find this concerning that there may have been a lacking inadequacy or perhaps failure in the “caring state” and the “altruistic do-gooders” in ensuring the “security” on the maternity unit from infant abduction as you should have not been so “free” to walk about. It is quite clear that the bureaucratic arm/fist of “The Joint Commission” dictates that all visitors be “identified” and parents to be “educated.” Such “education” would also include the attachment of “secure identically numbered bands to the baby (wrist and ankle bands), mother, and father or significant other immediately after birth” as well as “footprint the baby, take a color photograph of the baby and record the baby’s physical examination within two hours of birth.” Future recommendations “coming soon” is “implementing an infant security tag or abduction alarm system.” Welcome to the “secure” state sanctioned nursery. http://www.jointcommission.org/SentinelEvents/SentinelEventAlert/sea_9.htm
Congratulations Mr. Fedako. I’m sure that you are grateful that you have a State to care for you.
On a slightly related note, my wife and I just realized recently that neither of us bothered to mail in the papers for our 4-month old’s birth certificate. Our own (albeit unintentional) rebellion.
Our baby was born at home, which by the way is not a state-licenced maternity unit. And we even had lighting when it was needed. Imagine that.
Congrats, dad!
Has anyone who is concerned about the soaring health care costs in America ever looked at these regs? Is it possible that those countries which boast lower costs skimp on a few of these details, such as the multiple gas outlets per bed and private bathrooms, yadda yadda?
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